At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
