the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
