no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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