So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
