My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
