When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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