Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
