come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
