What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
