i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
