You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
