ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
