I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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