Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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