I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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