God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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