How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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