she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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