u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
