turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
