Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
