hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize