Christians are straight up FREAKS
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize