He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
