i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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