when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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