K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
