That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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