this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
