told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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