I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
