Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize