idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
