How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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