I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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