i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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