And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
