Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My pussy is not your playground.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
