Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
