you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
