a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
