Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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