I want to have your abortion
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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