I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
time to smoke my breakfast
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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