office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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