Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize