i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
