What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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