GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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