Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
