I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
