Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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