Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
