he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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