I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
