Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
