EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
