i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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