Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
