a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I faked an abortion last night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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