I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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