the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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