i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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