he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
