How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
