It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
