smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize