he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
