Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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